ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
