so explain again why im purple
no
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Why is there bacon in the couch?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
