the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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