i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
