to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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