It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
