well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
