YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
