It's Friday. Sex?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
