Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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