Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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