you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
