Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
