I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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