Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
