Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Randomize
