FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
