dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
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