afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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