I wanna passion pit in your ass
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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