I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
