normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
His nipple licking is glorious
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize