she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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