I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
