its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
