just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
