All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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