i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
this will be a night to untag.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
