You just made me feel so damn special
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
