Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I need to calm my uterus...
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize