After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Randomize
