U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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