Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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