had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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