Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
