tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
