you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
