I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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