Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
