I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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