My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
