Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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