Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I have aggressive nipples.
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