so explain again why im purple
no
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
