You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
