I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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