i just wanna soil my oats bro
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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