If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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