I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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