I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
