Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize