I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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