How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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