she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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