Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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