Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
