my mouth tastes like poor choices
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
