I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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