I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
