you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
