I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
