We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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