I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
