omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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