It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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