ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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