do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
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