Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize