The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
