i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
