This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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