you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
