God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
