apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
