summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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